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Someone Shoot This World War Z Trailer In The Head

Ever since “Shaun of the Dead” made it cool again nearly a decade ago, zombie fiction has been everywhere. Between hunting for pills and Carl’s blatant refusal to stay in the damned barn, it’s hard to avoid. It’s even taken over local bars with nationwide zombie walks and pub crawls.

That staying power means it makes perfect sense that “World War Z” would be shambling into theaters. The novel is every bit as important to the survival horror genre as “Resident Evil” and the audiobook was even better. Why wouldn’t it make a blockbuster film?

Well, one look at the trailer (below) shows all of the makings of the biggest flop this side of “Night of The Living Dead 3D.”

It looks like somewhere in the seven years of development hell, multiple reshoots and writers, something got carved out of this. Something meaning genuine drama, a realistic story, social commentary and literally everything that made the novel memorable.

It’s not that “World War Z” looks like a bad film, it’s that it doesn’t even look like a movie. If someone said this was just footage from “War of the Worlds” or “Battle: Los Angeles” with Brad Pitt sliced in, it’d be hard not to believe them.

When you’re adapting a book, you can go two different ways. First, you can stay true to the successful source material and make your money off of existing fans. Cheesy, but it works. If you fail at that, you should at least make a film that takes liberties for the sake of entertainment.

Instead, this flick vomits nasty zombie goo on stock action footage and slaps the “World War Z” logo on it. From a capable director like Marc Forster (“Kite Runner”, “Finding Neverland”) and a Midas-touch-having superstar like Brad Pitt, it’s not just surprising. It’s appalling.

This flick is due out in June 2013, but it’s already been delayed once. Here’s hoping it moves to theaters much slower than the fleet-footed zombies it shows off. By the way, since when did Usain Bolt have a hunger for brains?

For now, you might be able to take solace that December 21, 2012 happens before this movie hits the screen. Any Mayan disaster would be a welcome relief from having to watch this piece of trash. It’d probably make for a much more entertaining zombie apocalypse, too.

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14 Nov 2012 | Categories: Arts, Film & Music